I recently had the opportunity to conduct a workshop on change management and leadership for a team of about 10 people.  It was a an eye opening experience for me.  Let me explain.

“Life offers neither problems or challenges, only opportunities”  is one of the ways I approach change in my life.  It wasn’t always this way , but now I look at change, and how I handle it,  as a positive opportunity to learn and grow.

The team that I worked with would not, or could not see, that their success depended on how they handled their change. Instead this team kept shifting the responsibility of how they handled their change  to other people, systems and organizations.  Not one person wanted to accept responsibility for their actions, or reactions, towards the change that was happening.  It’s no wonder they are not reaching their goals.

The only constant in life is change. Think about it for a second.

How we choose to handle the change in our lives determines our success or failure.

Questioning your assumptions ,  challenging your limiting beliefs , and looking for other interpretations of the change  you are experiencing  are all ways you can successfully manage your change.

How are you managing your change?  How are you managing your life?

This past weekend I spent doing some yard chores here in New England, as well as spending Saturday afternoon, and evening, hiking and hanging with 4 friends I really hadn’t seen all summer.

It was so much fun – we were laughing, telling jokes, razzing each other as well as catching up on life’s successes and challenges.  As we settled down by a backyard fire pit and began catching up, one friend, who is a business owner,  shared she  had a difficult challenge with an employee,  another friend shared news of an illness in her extended family and  I shared how my business did over the summer.

But through it all — the ups and the downs — our energy was positive, upbeat and lively.  I was amazed with all we had going on, that we all still approached our lives with such positivity and  such commitment.  I was reminded of  a quote from my work in energy leadership: ” Life offers neither problems or challenges, only opportunities.”

It made me think about my week ahead and the attitude I was going to approach it with.

Positive, upbeat and lively. Abundant opportunities.  Easy-peasy as one friend would say.

What’s your attitude going to be for the week? How will you approach the opportunities that cross your path this week?

The Big 4 energy blocks keep you stuck and prevent you from achieving what you want in your life. I’ve written about limiting beliefs and assumptions, let’s take a look at #3 – Interpretations.

When you interpret something, you create an opinion about an event, situation or experience. In essence, you create an explanation and then look for evidence to support it’s validity. When you make an interpretation,   you don’t even see that other explanations exist.  In actually, though, an interpretation often represents only one viewpoint among many that are possible.

Your interpretations hold a strong energetic charge, which affects your emotions and actions. If you believe your viewpoint of a particular situation is the only explanation, you might not be aware of another point of view. You may end up wasting a lot of time and resources marching off in the wrong direction.  Because you don’t see that other possibilities exist, you remain stuck in your story, and feel like you have no control over the outcome.

As with assumptions, interpretations  are personal and somewhat difficult to let go of and challenge. Holding onto them may seem like the easy way out as facing them moves you into uncharted territory. However challenging your interpretations opens you to a world of possibilities, literally.

So this week before you jump to conclusions, and believe the first story that comes to your mind, I’d ask you to consider other possibilities that could lead you to new empowering choices and actions and ask yourself this question:

” What’s another way of looking at this?”

I recently went to visit some family in Virginia, and had some wonderful dinner conversation that lasted well into the evening.  My sister had invited some neighbors over for dinner so we could meet them. She and my brother-in-law spoke very highly of them, and their pet pig.

Pet pig? I had to meet these people.  I’ve never met anyone one with a pet pig you see.  Well, I learned a lot about how pigs make great pigs ( and no, I won’t be getting one any time soon), and I also met a wonderful retired couple with a zest for life.  This couple was enjoying and living life to the fullest – full of curiosity and questions.

At one point in our conversation,  Pat ( one of the neighbors) said she’d never move back north to the Albany NY area. I asked her why- and she said  ” Her hometown operated on the theory that the glass was half empty–and she was a half full type of gal.”   Wow – she got it – how your core thoughts and thinking guide your life,  and how this leads to being a great leader.

How often are we operating under the theory that the glass is half empty instead of half full?  And what happens when we do? I’ve been there, done that – my glass is now half full, with a million possibilities to fill it to overflowing.

What’s your thinking on this?  Half empty or half full? and how’s that working for you?

So I went to NYC last week to attend a seminar.  I’d really never been to the Big Apple though I’ve been to Amsterdam, Paris, London, San Francisco and Cairo. My friends, who know I travel as much as I can, were surprised that I had never been.  I realized I was afraid to visit. All my limiting beliefs and assumptions about this great American city kept me away.

So I decided to look my limiting beliefs and assumptions about New York City squarely in the eye and challenge them.  I followed the advice I found at www.travelonadimenow.com and made my way to the Big Apple.  A car ride, overnight stay in CT and a train ride later – I found myself at Grand Central Station.

and you know what – not one of my limiting beliefs or assumptions  was accurate and correct.  And guess what else happened?  I had a blast!  Meeting some great people, eating some truly wonderful food.  I can’t wait to go back to NYC and spend a lot more time there exploring.

What limiting beliefs and assumptions can you dispel? And how much better will your life become?

Give it a try and see what happens.

Last blog, I explored Limiting Beliefs briefly, the first of the “Big 4″ energy blocks which prevent us from making conscious choices and reaching our potential. Let’s take a look now at another one of those blocks — Assumptions.

An assumption is a belief that is based on the premise that because something happened in the past, it is automatically going to happen again.

When you make choices based on assumptions, you are letting the past control the future. Assumptions hold you back, because when you already “know” that something won’t work, you probably won’t even consider doing it. Even if you do attempt it, you won’t have a lot of energy for what you’re doing, since you don’t really believe it can work. When you hold onto your assumptions, you miss out on many possibilities.

Here are some typical assumptions:

If I don’t do it myself, it won’t be done right.   No one listens to what I am saying.  My kids are lazy and unproductive.  I’m no good at interviewing.  I can’t do that job.

Because assumptions are primarily based on personal experience, they are internalized and emotional, and difficult to let go. Delving deep to remove the emotion of the past experience may be necessary before moving forward.

The main question to ask when challenging an assumption is simply ” Just because that happened in the past, why must it happen it again?”

So when you just “know” that something won’t work based on your past experience, recognize your assumption for what it is, question it, and consciously choose to let it go and take positive action. You’d ll be surprised at the results.

We need to learn to make conscious choices, choices that are made in the present moment, without all the emotional “baggage” we carry around.

You can think of that baggage as being packed into four kinds of suitcases – the “big 4″ energy blocks that we carry around with us dictate how we see the world and hold us back in reaching our unlimited potential. ( The Big 4 are: Limiting Beliefs, Assumptions, Interpretations and Gremlins.)

The first suitcase contains your limiting beliefs. Beliefs can either help you or hinder you; limiting beliefs are those that hold you back from success. If you do not believe something is possible, you’re likely not to attempt it. Even if you do attempt it, you won’t devote much energy to achieving that goal.

Limiting beliefs are general beliefs about the world, your environment, situation, and the people around you that stand in your way. More often  than not, you accept a limiting belief as true because you’ve learned it from someone else, or from an “authority” such as the media, a book, or a movie. You assume that’s “just the way it is”.

I love to travel, but it wasn’t always so. My limiting beliefs about certain cultures and destinations, such as Cairo Egypt, always held me back.  Everything I read, heard, and saw said that this was a terrible country for Americans.  But I did go, and what I found was exactly the opposite. A wonderful country, with warm and welcoming people who were happy to have visitors.  I’d go back again in a heartbeat, and in fact have been to other countries in Africa.

Here are a couple common limiting beliefs that hold many of us back:  You have to work really hard to achieve success; or successful people are lucky; or you have to have money to make money.

There are several ways to challenge limiting beliefs. You can explore the effect the belief has had on your life,  look for proof of its truth (or lack of), or modify the belief to better serve you.  Simply examining the belief with questions like ” How true do I believe that is?” and the rhetorical ” Where did I get that idea?” can also work remarkably well.   Once you overcome your limiting beliefs, they can no longer hold you back!

So what’s in your limiting belief suitcase? Where are you stuck? Unpack that suitcase, and see how much lighter you feel.

I love the beach.  I can’t get enough of it.  Yesterday in New England was a perfect summer day – 85 degrees, a light breeze, and no clouds in the sky.  I decided to go to Horseneck  Beach in Westport Massachusetts.

When I was little, we’d pack in the car at the crack of dawn and drive north to the beaches of Maine. The water was always cold, and inevitably I’d get severely sunburned. But I loved it – and that was how I thought you went to the beach.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my favorite time at the beach is from about 3 pm until the sun goes down.  It’s perfect for me – not too hot and the beach is beginning to empty out.  By 7 pm – I’m usually one of a few people on the beach.  I absolutely love it.

Other people think I’m crazy – going to the beach at this time.  They’re always saying it’s not worth going at that time and look at me like I have 2 heads.

Why do I mention this? Because it’s part of mastering my life -  tapping into my true self, and mastering who I am.

I’ve got this part down – beach lover – 3 pm on.  What part of your life have you got mastered?

I believe that while each of us can do many things well, there is really only one thing that we can truly master, and ironically, while it takes a lot of effort to become a master in what you do, there is no real effort necessary in the the thing that we can truly master, which is being who we are.

Each of us has a very unique and individual makeup. That makeup , at its core, is perfect, and when we tap into out true core, our real gift to the world is revealed. When you share your true gift with the world, you can be considered a self-master.

For members of the LGBT community, it can be difficult to truly master who we are. We’re constantly under fire from society saying we’re not equal, not good enough, be this, be that.  It takes an extra effort for us to master being truly who we are.

In fact, its not what you do that matters, nor as much as how you do it. Mastery is about knowing who you really are, and how you express that in what you do.

So instead of trying to better yourself to finally be at a place of deservedness, why not relax, and instead look within to find that which you were really seeking?

Self-mastery means living an abundant, fulfilled, and enjoyable life. It means feeling in control without having to control anything or anyone. It means changing your mindset to attract the right people, places, events, and opportunities for you, and using this same mindset to jump all over those opportunities with gusto, and without fear or hesitation. As a master, it means you’re at the cause,  instead of the effect,  of your life.

Self-Mastery means resonating at a high frequency of energy and attracting all we could ever want into our lives….with little or no effort.

And doesn’t this sound like a great way to live?

Interested in finding out at what energy frequency you’re resonating? Order the Energy Leadership Assessment and debrief today.

I attended a meeting last night to participate in a group that is forming to build community for LGBT seniors in the central Massachusetts area. I was truly impressed by the people who showed up, their level of commitment, passion and leadership to the task, and the positive energy that was pervasive in the room.

That got me thinking about the 7 Levels of Energy Leadership and how just a slight shift in our energy levels can propel us in a more positive direction. What kind of energy would have been present in the room if the attendees were not leading this commitment to change? What would have been the outcome? Your level of energy determines your success. The more energy a person has, the more successful they’ll be.  Given the high level of positive energy in the room, I have no doubt we’ll be successful building a great community for our LGBT seniors.

You see, we all lead, either by choice or default. If you don’t think of yourself as a leader, I’d ask you to think again. Leading is the way we help people move into action, ourselves included. The question is not whether or not we are leaders, but how well we lead.

Our leadership ability determines how well we communicate with the people we interact with, whether or not our children do their homework, and how well we negotiate a new car or home purchase. And most importantly, how much energy we can muster to motivate ourselves to take action – sometimes life-altering action – to live our most powerful, productive and purposeful lives.

So how will you lead today?  I know what I will be doing.